Toddler Rules #1

Toddler Rules #1

If I have poop, I must share it with you.

Case Study A:
I was enjoying my little time to  "sleep in" one Saturday morning (for the rest of the world 7:30 a.m. is not sleeping in.)  when I heard a small cry from the other room.

"ugh, stuck....stuck...uhhhh.  mooommmmieeee."

wait, no, he isn't saying "stuck"  he's saying "yuck".

Oh, holy fuck!

I sprang from the bed, rushed into Boy Pickles room and he shoved his hand in my face.  One whiff and I knew what it was - shit covered, that's what it was.

Thank you, Boy.  Thank you for scratching your ass with a full diaper and sharing the fruits of your labor with me.

Case Study B:
Location:  Bathtub.  (I mean, really, need I say more, you all know where this is going, it's just the first time I've had the beauty of discovering it).

I hear a fart and the boy giggles followed by a shriek of "oh NO!"  I quickly glance and see a floating turd gaining speed towards Girl Pickle.

Me:  shit
Boy: shit

I grab a washcloth and scoop up the poop.
Me:  crap, boy, is there anymore of that?  do you have to poopoo?
Boy: noooo.  It's amazing how innocent they can look when they are about to lay out a bomb for you.  Thankfully I was already prepping the girl and pulling her out of the tub.

Pllllop.  Floating turd number two sneaks up behind the boy and makes its way around him.

Boy:  OH NO!

and as fast as a flash I swooped him on to the toilet where, for the next 5 minutes, he proceeded to fart and laugh.  No poop made it to the toilet.

Pinterest Rocks

Many of us already know this, that Pinterest rocks.  I've known it since my addiction was first born, within a minute of creating my account.  But now, instead of just admiring the eye candy, I'm putting shit to use.

Cue Crockpot Freezer Cooking.  It's not your typical once a month cooking, you don't cook the ingredients ahead of time and then reheat.  For the most part, you prep everything and then throw it all in a bag, raw, and freeze it.  You include instructions on cook times and what else needs to be added (let's face it, potatoes taste like ass after they've been frozen) for when you're ready to cook.

Sounds simple, right?  Well my small brain could not "get it" and I stewed over it for weeks until I came across Melissa Fallis' awesome blog post about crockpot freezer meal preparation.  I know I sound like an idiot, and normally I'm not, but this case I was a complete doofus on wrapping my head around this form of meal planning.

Melissa writes that she made the following recipes:

"Savory Vegetable Beef Soup (I make this 3-4 times a winter)
Teriyaki Chicken
Balsamic & Onion Pot Roast
Healthy BBQ Chicken *from mamaandbabylove.com
*Stephanie's Goulash *adapted from mamaandbabylove.com *"

I can't wait to try them all.

But it will have to wait.  At the moment my pantry and freezer are full of food I haven't even used yet.  So I'm going to create a pantry crockpot freezer meal challenge for myself (details in a follow up post) and make room for all these yummy eats.

I can see the grocery budget falling now.

If you've got an empty freezer, check out Melissa's blog post (and the comments).  You'll feel enlightened

Operation 125 Begins

It's inevitable that I start a blog (and hopefully keep it long term this time).  I've been putting off because there are so many areas I want to cover but didn't want 5 or 6 blogs).  I then  realized there are no hard and fast rules about blogging (despite the fem blog world drama I've heard about).  So I'm jumping in with my lifestyle posts on whatever subject I want and fuck em if they whisper in the corner about me.

(no, really, start whispering.  Means I'm out there enough to be talked about and I have a voracious ego, hungry for compliments of one sort or another).

Fuck is my favorite word.  Get the fuck over it.  Except during lent, in a professional setting, or in front of my kids, I cuss, a lot.  I reserve the right to abbreviate my cussing except as mentioned above.  And although my oldest can't spell, it's only a matter of time before he learns what "STFU" means.

Anyway.

Operation 125 is my goal to lose over 100 pounds.  More precisely, to be a size 7, but Operation 7 doesn't have as nice as a ring.

I'm investing my plan into PEERTrainer nutrition and exercises of walking, dancing, body weight plyometrics, and sex.  Orgasms.  We could all use a lot more orgasms.

My stats (cuz I'm not afraid of the world knowing one more fat chick's actual weight):
243/236/125.